Personal Blog

Love is a Verb

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Today is the perfect day to ask yourself, what is my definition of love? If you asked me this eight years ago when I first fell in love my answer would have been different than my answer today, however I have learned many lessons the past eight years. I’ve learned communication is key in any relationship, as well as, quality time, and making your spouse a top priority. Romantic relationships and marriages are not the product of each of you giving fifty percent. Both parties must give one hundred percent. Most importantly, love is a physical task, not a simple emotion.

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Love is a verb, not a noun

My blog today is written by Jeremy and Audrey Roloff from Beating 50 Percent. Take a look at their thoughts revolving around the biblical meaning of love. I couldn’t agree more!

What is Beating 50 Percent?

Beating 50 Percent is about having better than average marriages, and giving more than 50% to your spouse. The hope is that our readers, viewers, and listeners would be relentlessly compelled to give more, serve more, learn more, play more, seek more, and love more, always more. We want our marriage to be marked by “fixing,” instead of “throwing away” A marriage that Beats 50 Percent.

Beating 50 Percent posted this amazingly accurate message on their Facebook page last month, which immediately stood out to me. Why? Because if you really think about it, it’s totally true!

Giving Your Love

If love is something we can fall into. Then it must be something we can fall out of. Often, falling in love seems to be something that “just happens”. So if it can start like that, it can most definitely end like that. “We just, fell out of love…” Woah, scary. Our love can end almost as quickly as it started. So how do we prevent that from happening? One way, I believe, is by remembering what the definition of love is and acting on it. When talking about love we need look no further than Jesus. Jesus showed humanity what true love is. Love is self-sacrifice. Jesus commanded His disciples to love, as He has loved us. John 13:34.

However, you cannot command feelings, you can only command actions. Jesus commanded us to love. This would only make sense as an action. You can’t command people to simply feel something. Feelings are the results of something. Jesus even demonstrated what He meant by this in the book of John, when He washed the feet of the disciples. Here, we get a glimpse that love is far more than an emotion. It’s an action. I imaging that years later when the feelings of in-love-ness are weathered and possibly fading, we can keep them alive by following the example of Jesus.

So back to the question, how do we prevent ourselves from falling out of love?
We do this by serving our spouse. When Jesus commanded us to love, He meant serve, not feel. Feelings are you centered, serving is them centered. We should be serving our spouse. The commitment of marriage has a purpose far greater than our situational feelings. We need to be a people acting in light of eternity, not by how we feel.

As Christians, the world should be able to look at our marriages and see the Gospel by how we SERVE our spouses. That is what I think Jesus had in mind. Serving will keep our hearts softened and the flame of in-love-ness alive. Let’s never act like love is all about the me myself and I. It’s about them. Love doesn’t stop based on our mood, so let’s stop acting like it does and only wish for a thriving marriage. Let’s build one, through serving.
Do something to love (serve) your spouse today.

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Check out Navigator’s Council – a 52 week marriage journal created by the Roloff’s including six questions to ask your spouse once per week. Share your heart and understand theirs. Helpful for both newly weds and long term marriages.

Thanks for tuning in! Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day?

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4 thoughts on “Love is a Verb

  1. Beautiful post! I definitely agree that Love is a verb and we have to be intentional with loving others. I loved what you said about falling in and out of love – yeah, whoa! It happens to often sadly! My husband says how can some people put so much energy is a divorce but not in a marriage – then just to start all over. Anyway, I am not condemning terrible marriages that have ended in divorce when I say that but I am agreeing with you that we need to continue to serve our spouse for a greater purpose. I pray that my marriage does this as we are raising a boy and a girl that are watching our example – along with the worldly examples too! Scary!

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

    1. Thanks for your response. Leading by example is the perfect way to show our kids how to love! People give up very easily these days, because when something takes too much of an effort they stop trying. I’m really happy my husband and I continue to make it through every obstacle we have faced. It definitely shows our commitment to one another. It takes two to make it, and you can when you both make positive changes.

      1. I understand completely! We all go through so much and it is definitely hard at times but I wouldn’t want to go through it without my husband by my side – no matter how much we can disagree over this or that… we always seem to learn something together and grow stronger! Keep fighting for marriage, I will do the same!

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